*Whispershout* SPACE CAMP :)

I didn't get to blog Saturday. But it was amazing.

How can you beat Space Camp?

Mission: Successful

Thank goodness for my above average, amazing crew :)

#BestCrew #ThisJustGotReal #BeatTheProgram

Great Workplace

I haven't been feeling great this week...caught some kind of stomach or flu bug that I'm having a hard time kicking.

Sadly, I can't really take time off from work.

On the other hand, I have to admit that I'm pretty lucky to get to work at such cool places.

I mean, where else do you get to see things like this?

Oh hello there, old friend
#Gryposaurusmonumentensis
#RealFossils

Actually, I spent most the day working on this section, trying to develop a ten minute tour for 4th graders:

Early Hominids Family Tree

Is it weird that we have almost the exact same family tree display for the Ceratopsians just two floors down?

Not gonna lie, this wall looks far cooler than the early hominids wall.  Point dinosaurs.

And then this is just too cool to be passed by.

Because Allosaurus is just this cool...especially with the Ceratopsians in the background.
#MuseumMode #LivinTheDream #WorkLife

Learning from the Past to have Courage for the Future

This is a painting by John Clare from the series of paintings
 known as Saints at Devil's Gate

Learning from the Past to have Courage for the Future

            Sometime last December the idea to teach English abroad hit me.  I’ve thought about it before, but it never seemed like there was time for it.  This time, the idea seemed just as ludicrous, but it wouldn’t leave me.  I mean, I have two jobs and while neither of them are amazing, both of them at least offer experience and have potential to turn into something else.  Teaching abroad means quitting both jobs, putting off grad school, and basically taking a risk.  But the idea persisted and finally, I started giving it real consideration.

That’s when I got this feeling, a feeling that I’m starting to get to know pretty well. It’s the exact same feeling I got when I decided to go on a mission.  It’s also the same feeling I got when I decided to go to India, which was one of the most life changing decisions I’ve ever made.  In fact, every huge, life changing decision I’ve made has almost always been accompanied by this feeling.  It’s my own personal fire of the spirit.

            But the truth is, I’m terrified to do this.

            Which might be why Pioneer Day actually means something to me this year.  I don’t think it would be right for me to compare myself to pioneers, but I’ve been reading some journal entries and I’ve found them to be such a great source of comfort, that I thought I’d share a few of them and the lessons they’ve taught me in courage.

      1.  Shoot for a goal out of reach and never know when to quit because that’s when the impossible becomes possible.  “Yesterday we travelled over the most intolerable roads! It was a query in my mind how the first company, going as they did early in the spring, ever forced their way through so much mud! I was led to exclaim, what is there in all the world, the Mormons will not attempt to do?”  Louisa Barnes Pratt Age 43, June 1846, exodus across Iowa.

        2.  It’s okay that other people might think you’re insane, that’s just another word for the mentally creative. “Drove about 3 miles & came to a house the last one on our route. We thus leave the abodes of civilization to go forth as wanderers on the Earth without homes not knowing on what part of the continent we might be permitted to stop . . . I have often laughed at an observation made to me by a settler with whom I chanced to meet one day on the prairie. His inquiry was what part are you expecting to locate in. I answered in all sincerity, I really do not know sir. His reply was, When I leave with my family not knowing where I expect to stop, any person is at liberty to call me a damned fool.” Lorenzo Brown Age 23, May 28, 1846, exodus across Iowa.

      3.  The best way to live life is with curiosity and a dash of humor. “ In the course of my walk I saw a large buffalo which had been to the river for drink. He was just rising the bank as I came in sight of him. It appeared that his curiosity was as much aroused as mine. He gazed at me for a moment, as I did at him. Then shaking his head and switching his tail, [he] started toward me in great haste, but as there were several deep gulfs between us I was not much afraid of his reaching before I could gain the wagons, however I concluded it was best for me to be leaving. . . .” Caroline Barnes Crosby Age 41, August 1848, Willard Richards company. Trail journal.

        4.  We all have our moments, so we need to be patient with each other and with ourselves.  These two quotes are from the same woman, Hannah Tapfield King. “We have had the Platte River by us for the past week. It is very pretty—full of little islands— Oh! I can write no more. The mosquitoes drive me mad!” and “A long day’s travel! This day these sublime bluffs in view all day!— They plainly speak a designer— tho’ ages must have rolled along since that design was carried out. “ The Bluff ruins . . . are very beautiful— I should like to have an explanation about them—but I suppose none know their history— They stand out in bold relief with a silent eloquence that speaks trumpet-tongued to every thinking mind— There they are looking eternally silent.” Hannah Tapfield King Age 46, English convert, August 3 and 5, 1853, Claudius V. Spencer company.

        5. Nature can offer relief from our predicaments. “ Our minds were so much delighted with the novelty of the surrounding scenery that we almost forgot we were a little past the meridian of life, and for a moment imagined ourselves mere children, sporting at leisure. All the animal we saw was one little rabbit which ran from us in great fear and a few very pretty birds that seemed [to] make homes in the old cedar trees.” Caroline Barnes Crosby Age 41, August 11, 1848, Willard Richards company. Trail journal.

Took this picture at Arches a couple months ago...I love Utah's landscape

        6.  Almost every huge change that has happened, is because someone asked questions. I think the future belongs to those who are curious.  “Yesterday we travelled till quite late & passed some splendid bluffs ruins. These bluffs are something I cannot describe. They are sublime & mysterious— There is beauty & order in them, and it requires no very fanciful stretch of imagination to form baronial buildings—‘Keeps’—gateways. . . . They are very high— I should like to hear a philosophical description of them— They please and interest me more than [I] have language to express— There is much design in them—yet they say they are solely the work of Nature— Well I must leave them like all mysterious things.” Hannah Tapfield King Age 46, English convert, September 10, 1853, Claudius V. Spencer company.

        7.  Just do what you can.  We prize sacrifice so much that sometime we forget that to do our best is sacrifice enough.  Furthermore, don’t forget to notice the people around you.  There are hidden moments in each day that will tell a story of sacrifice and love.  “As we gazed down the yawning chasm that lay before us; the narrow road with rocks and bushes on each side, and leading, we could not see where, was a sight to make the strongest heart falter. My mother felt that she was not equal to the task of guiding her oxen down that fearful road, and my father tried to get a man to drive the team down for her. They were all fully occupied with their own teams, and she had to go down the best she could, hanging to the horns of her cattle, and leaving her dress as usual on the bushes to mark her way. I wonder if those coming after knew what those tattered rags meant.” Mary Jane Mount (Tanner) Age 10, autumn 1847, Abraham O. Smoot–George B. Wallace company.

        8.  We've done hard things before.  We know we can do hard things again. “As we enter the valley of the mountains and look out over the vast land of Zion, I am dismayed by the very immensity of the view. The boundless silence, and to see miles of sage brush everywhere. Behind us now are the heartaches and many thousands of silent tears that fell on the long unknown trail. I remember my dear home in England, of the flowers and trees and beautiful surroundings at that safe home. And I am home sick for my dear mother and father. But just as I have covered those endless hundreds of miles, so now I will begin work with renewed faith, begin the task of building a good home in this new wilderness.” Mary Pugh Scott Age 26, English convert, circa August 1848, Heber C. Kimball company.

*The quotes are courtesy of LDS Church History's Exhibit: "Saints at Devils Gate".  The online portion is accessible here:

https://history.lds.org/maps/museum/saints-at-devils-gate-online-exhibit

Monday's a Mystery and Tuesday feels like Thursday

As long as there are no great whites, I'll get in the water...
But if there are great whites, it's every man for himself

Found this book at the library today...how have I never heard of Eugenie Clark?

Best quote was at the end:

And after her decades of research and discoveries, Genie knew, "there are lots of things - big things - that we don't know about.  There will always be more to learn.  Always more surprises."

She never stopped pressing her face against the glass and wondering...

One of my favorite podcasts to listen to is a compilation of Rabbi Jonathan Sacks sermons.  This line from his sermon on faith really hit me, "If probability is the measure, nothing remotely interesting is probable.  Therefore, the sentence on the bus (probably, God doesn't exist), ought to have said, 'Improbably, He does.' Faith is the defeat of probability by the power of possibility."

When I stop and think of some of the most amazing reformations made in the world, none of them were probable.  They were all made by people who pressed their faces against the glass, so to speak.  In fact, many were made by people who transcended the glass.

I think that's something I'd like to carry with me as I move throughout my life.  I want to see the things that seem hard and improbable and transform them into opportunities to elevate the lives of the people around me, and maybe elevate my own life, too ;)

#FeelingExistential

Is that how existential is used or should I have said philosophical...

For the Struggling Single

I'm at the park right now.  All four pavilions have large gatherings at them.  In fact, one has a loud speaker and someone is announcing something in another language (it almost sounds like Hindi?).  O_O now they're playing music.  That's definitely Bollywood.

Now I want to dance.

And this may not be me, but that's definitely how I look when I try to dance!

The silly thing is, on any number of other days, I wouldn't want to dance.  I'm sitting here alone on my laptop in a park where almost everyone else is with someone if not with their family, extended family, and beyond.  I guess that's the thing about being single.  Some days it just really sucks and throws me into a depressive pit of darkness (not to be dramatic) and other days, it's okay.  Since today is an okay day, it's also okay for me to write about being single.  I don't want to lament all the bad things, but I do want to be honest in the spirit of being helping, because sometimes people just don't get it.  So, here are some lessons I've learned as well as some advice and a couple brutal truths.

1. It's really important to get to know and love yourself - to be fair, this is important for everyone.  It's just kind of the foundation for everything else, you know?  We all have things we want to fix about ourselves.  You know that saying, "There's no one else I'd rather be than me."  That saying is garbage unless you decide to make it true. To do that I had to take TIME to figure out who I am, meditate, learn how best to love myself, and put that into practice.  And it does take practice.  I think we could all use a little practice in loving ourselves. One thing I love about the LDS church is that we're taught to focus on eternally significant things - which includes our own eternal worth.  Being raised from a young age to know that I matter to God creates a foundation on which I could build a love for myself, despite my flaws.
2. Don't be afraid to live life differently - This is gonna be long, cause I have a lot of things to say.  I love the LDs faith, but it's hard for me to understand why everyone in the Church raised me to get married and no one prepared me to be single.  It's not that it's bad that the Church emphasizes the importance of marriage (I mean, marriage IS important), but as my roommate so eloquently put it, "No one prepared me for being single.  It's like no one thought that being single was a real possibility.  I didn't even think it.  I didn't want to think it, not even when I started living it and now I'm struggling to accept it." I think at least 90% of the Church is raised to expect a life that goes like this: finish high school, go to college, go on a mission, finish college, get a full time job that supports you and your family (and you're gonna have a family, because by about this time you should be married or engaged to be married), and then you raise your family, which will be hard, but you'll work through it with your spouse...together, like a team.  Only, I missed out on the marriage team because life ain't no cookie cutter and we sure as heck ain't cookies.  Look, a lot of people might follow that life plan.  Good for them.  Some people might follow  most of it.  Good for them.  Some people might not follow any of it.  GOOD FOR THEM.  This is YOUR life and you're an INDIVIDUAL. What happens to you and the choices you make are personally and indelibly yours. So, take a little pride in living life your way. And if you fail?  Good for you. Seriously, you had the courage to try, so be proud of yourself. Also, the pain of failure will give you a precious moment to feel just a portion of the pain our Savior felt in Gethsemane.  
3. Learning how to handle rejection and failure on a constant basis - I'm pretty biased here, as I'm a female, but my honest opinion is that LDS Singles Wards create an environment in which singles are constantly failing, but especially the women.  Generally, the ratio of women to men in a singles ward is about...oh, maybe 8 women for every 3 guys.  Which creates this cycle.  Girl tries really hard every Sunday.  She doesn't make an impression on the guys (to be fair, there are like a million girls at church).  She goes home feeling like she failed.  She's sad.  Then she gets motivated to do something, because surely, she can fix whatever's wrong.  She takes a long look at her faults and she changes things up, gets her hopes up, and then goes to church the next Sunday, only to fail again.  It's not really failure, of course.  The purpose of church is actually spiritual, but that's the thing with singles wards.  We've corrupted that and now it breaks my heart to see so many of my friends going through this vicious cycle.  So many of the girls I know are struggling with self worth and there was a time that I really struggled with that.  I became quite familiar with rejection (and not just at a singles ward, but also professionally and personally).  On the bright side, by becoming familiar, I've started to learn how to handle it.  Now, everyone handles failure differently and it's important to KNOW YOURSELF in order to cope with it.  For me, I remind myself that I've done hard things and I've failed before, but I've also overcome failure.  I let that remembrance empower me and I let it help me love myself more. I guess, in the end it comes back to loving yourself.  If I love myself, it doesn't keep me down that someone else doesn't love me.  
4. Spend time with the people who matter - I let myself get guilted into trying a whole slew of dating apps and going on tons of blind dates for about three months there.  It was miserable, not just because most the dates sucked, but also because I wasn't spending time with the people I really connect with.  It's really important to spend time with your family and friends whom actually get you.  It decreases your stress levels by about a million.  Don't get me wrong, putting yourself out there is great, but going on five dates a week just isn't fun for me.  I am SO much happier now that I'm spending time with the people who matter to me.  Besides, it's okay to let things happen organically. 

Last bit of advice:

We're all on our own paths, seeking happiness, stability, and love.  Don't compete with anyone and don't compare your experience to anyone else's.  Love yourself and love the path under your feet even if it doesn't quite match the map in your hands.

Idaho

Didn't get to post yesterday cause I was in IDAHO.

Loved seeing my brother and his family.

Also, hiking makes me happy.

As does when my nephew says things like, "This shade is lovely" in his cute little toddler voice (and lovely comes out "wovely")

#LoveThisView #TakeThatHill

Thank Goodness for Sisters

My sister made me lunch today. 'Nuff said.