Mud Run Memes

At the risk of sounding self absorbed, I think our mud run pictures make some great memes.

Mondays be like:

If at first you don't succeed...talk your

friends into following you so you're all stuck

together.

When you make it through a work 

morning with minimal casualties...oh gosh, I still

have a whole afternoon to get through.

Friends cheer you on.  Real friends are out
there stomping on your logs trying to get
you to fall into the mud.

When you just can't deal anymore

When you get super competitive and you're like

"I will make it to the top if I have to 

crawl over a bunch of bodies to do it."

Real friends stick together, no matter

how muddy it gets. 

Weird conversations at the Library

1.  We have a couple patrons who have really interesting names. That's fine, until they expect you to know how to spell it without their help.  I had this conversation a few weeks:

Patron approaches desk: "I forgot my library card."

Me: "Do you have ID?  I can look you up from that."

Patron: "I forgot that, too."

Me: "Well, I can look you up from your name, but I'll have to ask you

several questions to verify that it's your account."

Patron: "Okay."

Me: "What's your name?"

Patron: "Mrishne Srivskansky"

Me: "Can you spell that for me?"

Patron: "No, I want to see you spell it."

Me: "Uhhh...okay... M-R--"

Patron cuts me off: "Don't you look at your computer!  Look

me in the eye while you spell it!"

Me a little frustrated: "M-R-I-E--"

Patron cuts me off again: "It's just I!  No E!  How did you ever

become a librarian if you can't spell?"

(note: I did change the name, but this

is essentially the ratio of consonants to vowels)

Dean's face when learns Misha's name is basically my face through
this whole conversation.

2.  There are some people who come to the library so consistently that they feel the need to inform me when they won't be coming in.

Patron: "I wanted to let you know that I won't be here tomorrow."

Me: "Um, okay.  Hopefully you're doing something fun."

Patron: "Actually I'm having surgery in the morning. (Insert a long

and gruesomely detailed explanation of their surgery). Could

you let everyone know so that they don't wonder where I'm at?"

Me: "Sure, why not."

3.  Proposals to the female library staff.  One of my coworkers had a patron who actually emailed the manager over ALL the county libraries to ask if he could date her...that email got passed down to the branch manager and eventually back to my coworker.  My weirdest proposal (or rather, proposition).

Patron: "Do you want to travel the world with me?"

Me: "Uh...what?"

Patron:  "You should know, I'm technically married still, but

we just stay married for tax reasons.  She wouldn't care if

you came with me."

Me:

4.  I have some form of this conversation a few times a week.

Patron: "I read this really amazing book about a year ago.

Can you find it for me?"

Me: "Sure.  What was the book called?"

Patron: "I can't remember."

Me: "Do you remember what it was about?"

Patron: "I can't remember that either.  But it had a really pretty

cover with leaves and swirls and stuff."

Me: "Uh...do you remember anything else about it?"

Patron: "No, but I remember it was really good.  Can't you find it from that?"

5. For some reason, a lot of people feel the need to announce or lie about their education when they're talking to librarians.  There's one guy who always prefaces his questions with, "I have a PhD, but..."

Childlike Wonder

"Most people will mistake a fairy for a butterfly, but if you're out at night, you can sometimes see them glowing." ~ Best Line Ever Overheard at Thanksgiving Point Gardens

                

 

And because Winnie the Pooh has come up several times this last month and I stand by the fact that Eeyore is one of my favorites:

It turns out  I'm not the only one who loves Eeyore!
http://thebloggess.com/2018/01/18/winnie-the-pooh-is-overrated-eeyore-probably/

Plum Stupid Apple

Today I had to go to the Apple Store in order to buy a charger for my new computer.

Three reasons why this was always going to be a bad trip:

• Tech Stores are dumb...and they think you're dumb too.  Seriously, that's why they won't even let you go find the product yourself.  Apparently, we are all children who must be chaperoned at all times and when we don't have a chaperone, we  must sit at a stupid table like kindergartners waiting to be chaperoned. 

Major difference between Apple and kindergarten?  

There's no craft to do while you wait, so I don't hear this while I'm sitting there.

"Ms. Peterson, Kayla won't let me use the scissors."

"Mr. Knightly, Jimmy is  putting glue on his hand to peel off like skin and gross us all out again."

"Mrs. Browne, I want to go home."

Actually...I may have said that last one myself...

• Having to wait FOREVER.  I have decided that if a store is going to make me wait, that they must deal with me staring down each and every one person who works there.  I will not be the nice person who pretends to have stuff to do on my phone!  I will stare at you and wait for you to entertain me if you are going to make me wait here for twenty minutes!  As a result, I can now tell you that the exact numbers in the store with me: two apple greeters at the doors, mostly talking to each other.  One manager, who was laughing and talking with two coworkers AND NOT HELPING ANYONE (and a third employee joined them after about 5 minutes.  Five employees actually helping people.  There were also 8 people like me waiting to be helped, 9 people pretending to have been helped why "trying out" the device shoved in their hands, and five people being helped by the five employees doing their jobs.

• Having to deal with a sales rep means having to deal with sales.  Me: "I'd like a 60 watt charger for my 2010 macbook."  Sales rep: "Here's a really nice and brand new macbook that you may want to buy."  Me: "What?  No!  I just want the charger!"  Sales rep: "Oh, did you know that I can get you a special discount so the new macbook is only 1200 instead of 1299?"  Me: "WHERE ARE THE CHARGERS?  I WILL GRAB ONE MYSELF!" Sales rep: "Oh, honey, you're not allowed to touch things in here unless you buy them.  Now, allow me to show you our newest Macbook Air..."

Also, did I mention that the total cost of a charger is 84 DOLLARS.  

If I hadn't bought a mac while in college, I would definitely not have bought one now.  My point is, don't go apple.  Ever.  Everyone knows plums taste better and are way juicier anyways.

Look at me...I am beautiful with these glistening drops of water on me.

I literally make your mouth water.

You know you want me over that stupid apple you have in

your stupid fridge.

Crapple.  That's what we should name him.