5 Reasons I Go to the Ren Faire

Let's face it, the Renaissance Faire is that thing that normal people laugh about in the open, but secretly desire when they're home alone.  Yes, there are those brave souls who have absolutely no shame and can openly love and enjoy it, but those are the same souls who stay home over the weekends sewing costumes and creating fake chain mail.  Needless to say, I'm not one of those people.  I'm not very good at sewing and the thought of trying to make chain mail makes me feel ill.  I am, however, a fan of the Ren Faire (though I have to be careful who I say that to) and here's why:

1. Jousting.  It's a real thing people.  I mean, it's actually done today, in the present, in this day and age.  And apparently the group that goes to the Ren Faire in Utah is like the world champions, because other people actually compete in this.  Did your mind just blow up or what?  Because I totally thought  jousting was a thing of the past.
   
2. People Watching.  I used to go to Comic Con just to people watch, but it's become such a hassle with SO many people there, that it's not even really worth it anymore.  Instead, I've replaced it with the Ren Faire, which has some sweet/dorky costumes, far less people, and where you can overhear some classic phrases such as, "Falconry is fly, bro!" "Can you pass me that sword?  I'd like to go slay a dragon."  "Do I like him or is he just tall?"  "It's been one of those days for like two weeks now."  Also, can we all just recognize that I legit saw Gandalf watching the Jousting?  I couldn't get a good picture of him, but he was laughing and apparently Gandalf likes watching men be idiots just as much as I do (which actually explains a lot about those quests....)
3. Armored Combat.  Again, what can I say except there's something really amusing about men in metal suits just hacking away at each other?  Why does this happen?  I  have absolutely no idea, but I'm not here to question it.
   
4. You can LITERALLY be anyone or anything you want.  Okay, I'm not one for dressing up, so I don't do this, but it's really amusing to go and see other people who do this.  As my friend put it:"I don't understand why there are elves, fairies, witches, pirates, and mermaids at a Renaissance Faire."  Me: "There's also Vikings, Gandalf, someone who's dressed like a Mistborn from those Brandon Sanderson books, and that guy who's got furry pants on and little horns on his head...I think he's supposed to be a satyr."  Because apparently nothing is off limits at the Renaissance Faire.  The best part is that this encourages hours of entertainment of trying to tie these random characters to Renaissance.  Hint:  People started exploring from Europe in the 1400s which leads to piracy which leads to mermaids which are closely related to fairies and elves.
   
5. Random plays are performed and they have some amazing one liners.  "Can't you be a man and defend yourself for once?!"  "She's an untamable shrew." "I'm kerfluffled!"   "You know the saying...when one door closes, get yourself a battering ram and show them who's really king here!"